11.20.04 Aim Obsession

In more ways than one, I am your stereotypical college student. To me, Ramen & EasyMac are substantial meals, late nights are a must, alcohol is a frequent part of said late nights, procrastination is a way of life, I have a “blog,” and, of course; I am addicted to AOL Instant Messenger. Yeah, I am not exactly proud of this, particularly of the fact that I go into withdrawal-induced seizures when my computer is malfunctioning. But I also have observed the different “breeds” of AIM-ers, through the quintessence of all that is AIM:

The Away Message.

The way I see it, there are more than one type of away message people leave, and everyone seems to fall into one of the following categories:

The Literalist: This person always has their full itinerary in their away message. For some reason, they find it necessary to reveal to all who have them buddy listed exactly where they will be and when. Although helpful, this can be seen as quite superfluous in the grand scheme. Usually, I don’t even care where I am.
Here, we also see the Literalist with Flair. This indicates their itinerary, but spices it up with a humorous tidbit or song lyric. Sometimes, I have to admit, this is me.

The Idle-ist: An individual who doesn’t actually remember to put up an away message, so when they leave their perpetually powered-on computer, it eventually turns to their default idle message. Sometimes, this is a personalized message, and others, it is the Infamous AIM Default: I am away from my computer right now. These people are not only boring to me, but far too busy to be signed on.

The Lyricist: This avid AIM-er uses song lyrics to cleverly express their sentiments to the most compulsive of away-message checkers. These are probably the same people who include song lyrics in their profiles, and maybe even their blogs. For instance, I have noticed a personal favorite of my emo-loving crowd on a Friday or Saturday night is: Hey Lush, have fun, it’s the weekend. Clever lyrics such as these are able to hint at the activities of the AIMer.

The Quote-ist: Within this category, we see two smaller subcategories. The Wisdomist, who will use famous words from profound individuals and force thought-provoking concepts into the head of its reader. You will see quotes from famous authors and poets, controversial people, and even political leaders. The other is the Humorist. This is the person who will insert funny thoughts from movies, comedians, and even things their friends said the night before, in hopes of scoring a laugh from his/her friends. Essentially, it is only funny half of the time.

The Randomist: People who leave things up in their away messages that you can’t even wrap your head around, and thus feel markedly stupider after having read them. This is its own category, though the intent of the author might have been for another previously listed category.

Of course, there is flexibility within these categories. I myself am a Quote-ist, Lyricist, Literalist.

Anyway, I’ve got to go now. I need to pick a new away message.