Posted by KAJennings on Aug 17, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused No, it’s not the title of a B-Quality action movie, but rather, a clever descritor for the journal entry you are about to read with regards to college students and their attendance in classes.
A lot can be said about when people show up & where they sit in class- it says a lot about their personality. Seriously, think about it, and use the following as a gauge for your very own reality.
The Early Kid:
This kid gets to class around 10-15 minutes prior to the start of class. In fact, he/she begins to set up camp: books are out, pen is out and opened, and he/she is working diligently in his/her datebook, trying to figure out how he/she can best arrange their lunch schedule so that early arrival can be orchestrated for the 1:15 appointment he/she has at the health center. This is the same kid that always asks 8,000 questions and gets an A on the test, despite the fact that “they didn’t really get it” till the last minute. Fuck off. Oh, did I say that????
The “Normal” Kid: Gets there about 3 minutes before the start of class, can deal with sitting anywhere, takes out books only when the professor arrives, and just generally takes the class. Yep.
The Latecomer: Kid always arrives after the professor, enters the class with a little bit of a blank look on his/her face while he/she sizes up possibility of seating locations. They are usually back-sitters, which I will touch on later. This kid is often me.
The Front-Sitter: Very close to the professor at all times. Proximity is like a mantra to these kids- if they are close enough to be spit on by the professor during the course of a normal lecture, they are close enough. Front-sitters, are rarely latecomers, in that if they were to come too late- there would be NO FRONT SEATS!!! Imagine that.
The Back-Sitter: As far away from the professor as is humanly possible without actually LEAVING the classroom. These kids like to do things other than listen to lectures- for example: read a newspaper, do other homework, make a written catalog of all of the DVDs they have in their room (what IS that one in the blue box again???), fall asleep. Good times.
….sure, I bet there are other categories- but this is what I see, as a college senior. Take what you will, leave the rest, and feel free to leave me a comment. I’ll be the kid coming late to class, and sitting in the back.
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 17, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused There’s something about smokers. Nah, not talking about pot-smokers, just your garden variety cigarette smokers. I have been fortunate enough to observe the creature in its natual environment, and made some very keen observations on the subject:
Smokers have a certain quality of boldness that others lack. For example, a smoker would not think twice about asking a friend for a cigarette, even though it is very costly. In NY, where cigarettes are about $6.00 a pack, at twenty cigarettes in a pack, that is a good 30 cent investment right there. So naturally, you would think, said friend would NOT allow a cigarette to pass through their hands without payment. This is not so. Said friend either just gives the cigarette, or even JOINS the individual in smoking a cigarette. This way, not only are they meeting their nicotine quota, but also engaging in a social activity. Friend also now takes a secret mental note: My friend Bo-jangles lent me a cigarette, I can now bum one off of him in the future with little-to-no protest. Awesome.
Smokers have a flagrant disregard of infection. So, if smoker 2 does not have a cigaratte to give to Bo-jangles, they might just go outside and SHARE the butt. Or, in another situation, perhaps you just ask someone if you can take a drag off of their cigarette, not even stopping to think about what horrors live within their mouth at the current moment.
“Hey, Dude, can I get a drag of that?”
“Yeah, sure. (But seriously, man, I have gingivitis, and that is gonna be all up in your piece after that)”
::friend takes drag:: “Thanks, man.”
“Hey, no prob.”
Similarly, smokers will still smoke when sick. It’s crazy times!
Smokers NEVER have money.
“Man, I really need some gas, a pack of cigarettes, dinner, and I definitely need to do some laundry.”…………”I’m walking to the gas station for some cigarettes, be back in fifteen minutes.”
Ha.
Well, really, is this funny? Prolly not…unless you, or someone you know, is an avid nicotine junkie. Rock.
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 17, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused There’s something very humbling about having a sheet for an entryway. I remember as a kid, having a sheet for a doorway & find it rather ironic that at age 21, everything has come full circle. Spending the summer home was, indeed a pleasant time, minus the presence of the blue-cloud sheet that served as a door due to a mishap of the return policy at Home Depot. (The door that is meant to serve in the entryway is resting nearby in the hallway; for nearly 3 months, mocking me, with it’s shiny knob & hinges)
One day, after being thoroughly annoyed, I entered my room & tried to slam my sheet. Naturally, this was detered by the nature of this cotton-jersey fabric. Instead, it billowed up into my face. At this point, I laughed in spite of myself. I started thinking about the reality of the sheet: minimal effectiveness.
Imagine your world with only a sheet as your barrier between the outside & YOUR space. Every time I was dressing this summer, I was horrified that my sheet would fall off of the wall, or worse, someone would open it unannounced (after all, who knocks on a sheet?!)
What if I had been entertaining a gentleman friend at any point? “Well, this is my room. You’re looking foxy, so let me create the illusion of privacy by closing my sheet.”What the hell is that, honestly? I think if I were that guy, I would be pretty threatened/intimidated by the presence of ONLY the sheet.
Short rant, but- long & short- your door shouldn’t be made of something that can be worn to a toga party.
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 17, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused I’m a girl who’s picky about a lot of things- I am the first to admit it- I am not ashamed. So, needless to say, I have acquired a lot of pet peeves that developed a rather cynical views about- and you, my friend are reading THE very sounding board I use to piss off about stuff.
That said, let’s chat bagels and donuts. No, this is not the breakfast from high-carb hell (Atkins freaks!)…it’s a simple system of terminologies I have created to describe female body flaws (only donut translates to male, sorry gents). Both of these trends are the results of ill-fitting clothes. Allow me to describe the anatomical makeup:
Bagel (”bay-gull”): the fat depository surrounding the belly-button area. This can be present with or without improper clothing size, however, ill-fitting clothes will, in fact, accentuate this.
Donut (”dough-nut”): known by many of the baby boomer generation as the “spare tire,” or “love handles.” This is the fat around the waist which is created by ill-fitting pants.
Now that we have become familiar with the terminology, allow me to illustrate an example. I know a young landy, who I will call Shish-Kebab, is in the habit of wearing jeans that are approximately 1 size too small; in addition to fitted tees that appear to be made partially of lycra, or a similar slightly stretchy fabric. Now, of course, this here is a dastardly comibination! The tight pants cause an upward push of the body fat: resulting in the donut, and providing more defined, upraised shape to the bagel.
Problem #1: This COULD be counteracted by a more blousy shirt, which would not affect the donut, but the bagel would be well-hidden. But, as I said, Shish-Kebab wears fitted lycra hybrid shirts which actually accentuate the bagel. Who DOES this? Clearly, someone in denial. Size denial is a sad thing, kids- do you really want to be a walking dunkin-donuts combo meal? Look in the mirror, please, don’t be that guy.
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 17, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused Pardon the intentional pun in the title, but how hard is it to clean up a toilet seat if you pee on it a little?
This is clearly something that I only run into when I am in a public place. My main problem with this is…..LADIES….if you cover the seat and then sit down, you will not PEE on the seat. And then you save me the trouble of going into the stall going UGH…and then turning around and walking out bc you did not check to make sure you didn’t sprinkle on the seat. That’s just plain damned lazy. I know sometimes we leave the bathroom in a hurry….but seriously, it takes about 3 seconds to just turn your head, and make sure that you were clean about your business…..
Of course, this entry comes to you thanks to the ladies’ room on the 3rd floor of building G @ Nassau Community College.
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 17, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused Being that it has been a while since I have written an entry in this journal, I was happy to have left my Dentist’s office the other day with inspiration to write in my easyjournal, which, as I have previously mentioned, has become a form of my own satirical entertainment.
When I was sitting in that chair, squinty-eyed due to the bright light shining in my face, the hygenist with an unidentifyable accent trying to remove a piece of my tooth that she had mistaken for some unruly plaque (ouch) with that metal scrapey thing; I realized how strange being at the dentist ACTUALLY is. If you have time to actually think about it (& it doesn’t really take much time) you might just realize it, too. Perhaps take a moment and pause from your reading to ponder a visit to the dentist.
Ok, ready? Here’s what I realized about how strange this is. You voluntarily go into a room, sit in a chair that puts you in a semi-reclining, vulnerable position, and ask someone to voluntarily put their hands in your mouth, for the express purpose of cleaning your teeth! I like clean teeth as much as the next girl, but it’s odd. Who ever invented dentistry?
“Hey, dude, you got 1/2 an hour or so? I would like my teeth cleaned and if I could just employ your hands, I would be eternally grateful. Here’s a handful of sharp, ominous-looking metal instruments…poke and scrape my teeth and gums, thanks.”
For someone who has a bit of a quirky obsession with straight smiles and clean teeth, I am not asking or implying that I would like to know about the history or development of dentistry, nor am I asking you to disregard yours or anyone else’s dental prowess. Just think about it.
And floss regularly.
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 17, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused Being that I have started my summer classes, I have noticed another trend that I have not been fond of since it started.
I know with this entry, I shall be hitting people close to me, don’t take it personally.
When did it become cool to wear those old lady chinese slipper things? EVERYONE who is trendy and female seems to be wearing them. Sure, I bet they are comfy, but I must say, they are RETARDED looking. They are MESH and painted toenails look freaking dumb underneath them. I admit, I did try a pair on to figure out what the buzz was all about. I found, after trying them on, they are not at least a little bit cute. Not on my feet, not on anyone else’s feet. One of the girls in my Abnormal psych class has worn them three days in a row, each day, a different color to match her outfit. I can only wonder what kid of footwear she might sport tomorrow…..
What is wrong with generic, everyday flip flops? they’re cheaper, more practical, and look a lot less like something that someone’s asian grandma might wear.
Wow, I’m really offensive, bitter and jaded right now. Awesome.
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 16, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused I am a big fan of the collared polo shirt. I can’t deny this at all. I like to wear them, I like the way they look on guys, all preppy and college-chic, and I like the variation that trendy places like A & F have been calling “Rugby shirts.”
However, this is something about them I neither like, nor understand, and I have been seeing it more and more on this campus. Quite frankly, it is starting to disgust me, but also bewilder me, hence the ability to write a seemingly pointless journal entry about it.
It’s that damned “flipped up collar” look. Apparently, it has become the popular alternative to what the collar on the shirt is truly intended for (folding it down). Upon initially seeing it, I thought to myself “oh dear, that young woman must have gotten dressed very quickly this morning and left her room without lookingin a mirror.” However, upon observing that her hair was “did” and makeup in place, I realized this was ::gasp:: INTENTIONAL.
Now, it’s spreading through campus as fast as an STD through a freshman dorm. I see it on a large majority of our upscale campus rich kids…the ones who have money to spend on things and then not use them the way they are intended. I just think this all looks stupid, and unfinished. I mean, ok, maybe if you have a really horrible rash or something, its a good summertime means of covering it up….but HONESTLY, what is that.
Some may say I am jealous, and yes, while I would like more money in my pocket (and be able to sleep in on Saturday mornings rather than sit here @ work and write pointless satirical journal entries)this has very little to do with the jealousy element. I just think it’s horrible and dumb, and more importantly, a phase, not unlike the spandex of the late 80’s, which we all look back at and go “UGGGGGGH.” (Sure, we all indulged at the time, but now we shant dare, unless it be for a themed party!)
And where do I stand? Right now, I am wearing my lovely polo work shirt, collar down. That is where it will stay. I am staging a passive revolution.
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 16, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused I hate belts, I’ve decided. At other, earlier times in my life, I never really used a belt. Just complained how my pants weren’t sitting right and pulled them up down, around, you name it, ceaselessly….
Now, in my poor state of life, while I continue to lose weight, I swear by my belt. I can’t afford to buy smaller jeans, and I feel almost as though it is a waste to purchase smaller jeans when, in fact, I continue to get smaller…..(point and case)
However, I have recently run into a belt dilemma….I have this cute black belt, which I bought cheap (again bc I am poor) last semester. Black, with gromits for holes..they wrap all around, making it a funcational belt as long as I keep getting smaller. It works just swimmingly, keeps my pants up and such, saves me from embarrassment and complete exposure of my panties.
My belt dilemma is this: I need the “half” spot between the 4th and 5th notches…but, on said belt, I will not go ghetto-fab and punch a “notch-and-a-half” hole…it would just be silly. But that is where I need to be on the belt right now….4 is slightly too lose, 5 is slightly too tight. (but, either a marked improvement from starting @ notch 3!)
So, think of me, fighting with my belt, when you slip yours on.
Damned notch-and-a-half…..
Posted by KAJennings on Aug 16, 2009 in
Archives...Previously Confused I’ve been thinking a lot lately, which has been known to cause controversy MANY times over….(haha)
I’ve been thinking about nudist colonies. I know, bizarre, and a topic that may be riddled with disgust for some, as not only good-looking hardbodied people live in nudist colonies.
That set aside, these people really have something going. #1- There is never a bad time for ANYTHING. Think about it…You will never be caught with your pants down during a fire drill, perhaps in the potty or shower, because you HAVE no pants on. You can just strut out of the bathroom and away to safety, with your nude counterparts.
#2- NO Laundry. No clothes=no dirty clothes…..hence, no laundry. Ideal for the quintessential college student.
#3- Laziness is key. You don’t need to fret about changing your outfit 50 times before a date, don’t need to lament about what does and doesn’t match. Just wake up, roll out of your covers, brush your hair (if you wish) and you’re “Dressed!”
There is one technicality I imagine would be a HUGE problem….Mainly for adolescents… Think young love…Boyfriend and girlfriend hanging out (in more ways than one!) at one or the other’s house….maybe kissing, maybe not….but….NOTHING is hidden….seriously. I would think that could be problematic…And how, when their parents walk in, do they prove they weren’t doing anything??? After all, they are both naked!!!
Well, anyway, there is some food for thought. Sorry for any poor mental images.